Welcome to Starling Psychotherapy. Please read below to get to know me:
Q: What should someone know about working with you?
A: I will ask you the hard questions. Do you yearn to be able to recognize the importance of honoring your own needs, emotions, and values? This recognition is crucial as it enables you to make decisions that align with your authentic self and inner truth, rather than succumbing to external pressures that leave you frustrated with yourself. Ultimately, my aim as a psychotherapist is to empower you to cultivate a deep understanding of yourself, values, and needs. By nurturing the development of healthy boundaries, you CAN make decisions and engage in relationships that are in alignment with your heart.
Q: How do I continue to enhance my skills as a therapist?
A: As a trauma-trained therapist, I am dedicated to ongoing growth in my field. I regularly explore different therapeutic frameworks and interventions, tailoring my approach to each person's unique needs and experiences. I am specifically trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), an evidence-based treatment that facilitates healing from the symptoms and emotional distress resulting from traumatic life events. Numerous studies have shown that EMDR therapy can yield the benefits of traditional psychotherapy in a significantly shorter timeframe, demonstrating the mind's capacity to recover from psychological trauma, much like the body's ability to heal from physical wounds.
What is trauma?
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a renowned psychiatrist and trauma expert, defines trauma as follows:
"Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body."
In other words, trauma is not solely about the specific event or experience itself but ALSO about the lasting impact it has on a person's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Trauma can deeply affect how individuals think, feel, and function, often leaving a lasting imprint on their minds, brains, and bodies.
What is the difference between "big Ts" and "little Ts?"
"Big Ts" refer to significant and intense traumatic experiences that can have a major impact on a person's life. These experiences are like major earthquakes or hurricanes that shake up your world. They often involve a direct threat to your life, safety, or sense of self. Examples of big Ts can include surviving a serious accident, experiencing physical or sexual abuse, being a victim of a violent crime, witnessing a traumatic event, or going through the horrors of war.
Now "little Ts" refer to smaller, chronic, or ongoing stressors and traumas that accumulate over time. While they may not be as life threatening or obviously extreme as big Ts, they can still have a significant impact on your well-being. Little Ts can come from various sources, such as narcissistic and emotionally immature parents, difficult childhood experiences, emotional neglect, lack of affection from care givers, bullying, a high-stress environment, dealing with constant criticism or invalidation, growing up as a child of immigrants or facing discrimination or microaggressions.
Why would you want to work with me?
"What we don't heal, we feel." YES. YES. YES. Read it again and write it down! You can try to put it away, tuck it away, button it up, drink it down, run away from it, dress it up really pretty, smoke it up or eat it away. However, that pain...that unhealed part of your soul? That deep inner child wound...it will show up...especially when you do not want it too. After years of meeting with therapist after therapist, I embarked on a journey of self discovery that led to my own transformative healing. I would love to connect and walk with you. You and I. Side by side on this journey. Are you ready? No judgement. Speak freely, curse, yell, cry or laugh. Welcome to your healing. Radical therapy for radical people!
Mo Charles
Licensed Clinical Social Worker